It goes without saying that therapists generally try to do the best they can for each client they work with. However, being a therapist is stressful. Between the long work hours and dealing with their own personal issues, therapists can sometimes fall short in this mission.
Simply put, no one is perfect – therapists included. Despite thorough training and good intentions, therapists occasionally make errors in their relationships with clients. Here are common issues therapists face in their relationships with clients and tips on growing and serving clients better.
Recovery takes place when the client experiences that they have emotional support and care from their therapist. Connect with new clients today with Ravel Mental Health.
The Therapist-Client Relationship
The therapist-client relationship refers to the relationship that therapists and their clients develop over time. Without this relationship, there can be no effective or meaningful therapy.
The relationship between therapists and clients is unique. It requires a deep level of intimacy yet a strong wall of professionalism. This relationship may be especially valuable for some clients if they have struggled to form meaningful relationships in the past. Some clients may find therapy sessions to be the first time their feelings, thoughts, or ideas are heard and valued.
However, the relationship must remain impartial and cannot be based on the past or carry any preconceived judgments. It is, by necessity, an imbalanced relationship. Clients open up to their therapist about deeply personal issues while the therapist does not. This one-sided nature is because the intention is to focus solely on the client. Friendship, on the other hand, is a two-sided relationship. Therapist-client relationships can be friendly, but they are different from friendships.
Characteristics of a Strong Therapist-Client Relationship
The therapist-client relationship has many components and will vary between each individual relationship. However, there are some common themes and characteristics:
Being Genuine
Even though therapists do not open up the same way clients do, they should still be real human beings during sessions. Speaking from the heart can be more powerful than appearing to be this all-knowing expert to the client. Being genuine helps therapists relate to clients.
Having Empathy
Empathy is the basis for a healthy therapist-client relationship because it establishes a personal connection between the two. Clients want to feel that they are heard, valued, and understood by their therapist.
Being Caring
Therapy can be scary for clients. Therefore, therapists need to provide an environment that is warm, caring, and safe so clients can share their feelings and thoughts.
Having No Judgement
It is crucial for a client to trust their therapist in order for the therapist-client relationship to grow. Clients often find it difficult to open up or explore their feelings, so it is imperative that they feel comfortable that their therapist will not judge them when they do.
Being Understanding
Both the therapist and client have certain experiences and insights that shape their way of thinking. Sometimes, the therapist and client may have very different backgrounds. It is important that the two are able to understand each other and learn from one another. This joint learning can make therapy rewarding for both clients and therapists.
Common Problems in a Therapist-Client Relationship
1. Boundaries
Problem: The therapist-client relationship is not like other relationships. It is bound by specific constraints, as it is a professional relationship and not a friendship. When boundary lines are blurred, it can lead to several issues related to trust and confusion. In many cases, the client may be too vulnerable to understand that they are being abused in the therapist-client relationship.
Being overprotective of clients, meeting clients in public places, or taking financial advantage of clients are ways therapists may cross therapeutic boundaries. Crossing boundaries can lead the therapist to make poor treatment choices or harm the client. There is a need for clear boundaries to protect the therapeutic process and keep the relationship professional.
Solution: Therapists understand that pursuing a relationship with a client outside of therapy is a major boundary violation that diminishes their professional role. But sometimes, setting boundaries can be difficult to do depending on the client. Limiting the amount of information disclosed to clients, establishing clear rules, and avoiding social media interactions help set clear boundaries.
2. Cultural/Moral/Religious Differences
Problem: When therapists fail to under a client’s cultural, moral, or religious background, it is a vital mistake in therapy. When a therapist is unable to relate to or empathize with a client’s unique background and challenges, it diminishes the trust in the relationship.
Solution: In the ideal case, a client would be matched with a therapist who shares a similar background. When this happens, therapists’ beliefs, background, sexual orientation, and racial or cultural identities may come into play during therapy to the client’s benefit.
However, this is not always possible. Alternatively, therapists can educate themselves in terms of the history and culture of their clients so they can use methods that are best suited to their client’s needs. Therapists should understand the potential impact their personal beliefs and attributes may have on the therapeutic process for some clients. When therapists remain sensitive, unbiased, and aware of their own privilege, it can help ensure no potential abuse of power.
3. Communication
Problem: Disagreeing on treatment goals or misinterpreting what the other has said can sow mistrust in the relationship. Different styles of communication or different senses of humor are breeding grounds for misunderstanding.
Solution: Painful misunderstandings are inevitable but being continually misunderstood can be dangerous over time for the therapist-client relationship. When miscommunication does occur, it’s important to talk through it and find the source of the misunderstanding. This allows the relationship to be repaired.
Clients should feel safe to bring up moments of miscommunication or misunderstanding, so creating a safe space for them to do so is important. Moments of misunderstanding can be used to grow the relationship when addressed properly.
4. Progress
Problem: Sometimes, the therapist-client relationship can get stuck for long periods of time. Meaning, nothing happens in sessions: no breakthroughs, no backslides, no end in sight. As a result, therapists working with these clients can begin to feel stagnant or perhaps even bored.
Solution: Instead of just tracking progress, track outcomes. Also, discuss with the client how they feel they are doing to reach their goals. If a client isn’t achieving results, it’s time to dramatically shift the therapeutic process or refer them to another therapist.
5. Dependency
Problem: Dependency can be somewhat of a ‘Catch-22’ in therapy. Emotionally intense clients may be perceptible to getting attached to their therapist and therapy in general. In some cases, therapy can be too gratifying and comforting for the client, creating an addiction to it and the therapist.
Solution: Dependency is common in therapy, but the main goal of the therapist should be to help the client pursue healthy relationships outside of therapy. The therapist-client relationship often stimulates this, but it cannot gratify it. To do this, set clear goals with the client and remain focused on the progress toward achieving those goals. If the client isn’t making real change, then it may be time to reevaluate if the client needs a different treatment.
The goal of therapy is to create a safe space for clients to thrive in. Let clients know you are here for them with Ravel Mental Health.