There are lots of different reasons why people seek help with their mental health. It could be a relationship or a family issue. It could be a work or financial issue. It could relate to illness or injury. Perhaps you’ve lost a loved one. Maybe it’s a performance issue. You might be struggling with depression, anxiety, or stress. The good news is that you’re here and we can help.
Finding the right therapist or counselor can be really overwhelming. Where do you start? How do you choose the right person for you? Here’s a guide to what you should look for.
Starting the search? Meet a therapist in your area with Ravel Mental Health.
What to Look for When Choosing a Therapist
There are a couple of non-negotiable things you should look for when you’re choosing a therapist. The first few items on our list are very pragmatic (and admittedly pretty dry), but important. That’s right, we’re going to start with administration – in particular, these five questions:
- What is their education and experience? Do they have the expertise you need?
- Is the therapist covered by your insurance, or can you afford to pay the fees?
- Are you comfortable with their cancellation policy, and other office policies?
- Do they offer the modality you need, whether that’s in person or online?
- Are they actually available? Do their openings suit your schedule?
If your answers to any of these questions is no, they’re not the right fit for you. Procedural items like these aren’t exciting, but they make a big difference over time. Think of it this way: Choosing a therapist is like choosing a family doctor or dentist. You might end up working with this person for many years to come, so it’s important to choose someone who makes your life easy.
How to Tell if Your Therapist is Good for You
Now that we’ve dealt with the practical side of things, let’s talk feelings. Therapy is an incredibly intimate thing. You’re likely to share things with your therapist you wouldn’t dream of telling your family or friends as you begin your journey towards optimizing your health, so trust is critical. It’s absolutely okay to “shop around” and try a few different providers. You should look for:
- Do they understand what you’re saying? Are they actually listening to you?
- Are they a strong communicator? Can they explain things in a helpful way?
- Do you feel validated while speaking to them? Do they accept you as you are?
- Have they provided you with a range of different solutions that you can try?
- Do they take time to research? It’s okay for them to come back to you later.
- Are they taking all aspects of your identity into account instead of pigeon-holing?
- Are they letting you tell your story? Or are they making it all about them?
- Do you trust them? It’s okay to go with your gut feeling in making this decision.
- Are they regularly checking in with you to make sure you’re coping with therapy?
- Can you see the value in continuing a working relationship with this person?
There’s a lot to unpack in this list, but the main issue is whether or not they make you feel good. That doesn’t necessarily mean warm and fuzzy feelings (although those are always nice). We mean validated, respected, and understood. Are they going to be an ally for you, who will walk alongside you as you navigate difficult times in your life? Successful counseling requires a strong partnership between therapist and client, so it’s important to find someone you can stick with long-term.
Warning Signs Your Therapists Isn’t a Match
Now that we know what a healthy therapy relationship looks like, what about an unhealthy one? There are a few signs that may indicate you and your therapist aren’t a good match for each other:
- They’re not actively listening and responding as you speak.
- They’re making you feel judged, guilty, and ashamed in conversation.
- They’re imposing their own religious, political, or social beliefs.
- They’re not explaining things in ways you can understand and use.
- They’re only providing one solution and they’re unable to adapt.
- They’re zeroing in on one issue without considering the context.
- They’re encouraging blame instead of looking for healthy solutions.
- They’re jumping to conclusions without letting you finish speaking.
- You feel like the sessions are a waste of time with no structure.
- You don’t like them (hey, it’s not ideal, but it happens!)
Therapy is hard work, and it can be very painful at times. There’s no skirting around that. However, although therapists may challenge you at certain times and you should always feel supported. It’s important to choose someone who has your best interests at heart – not someone who is just filling their day until 5pm. Personality clashes do happen, so keep that in mind, and remember you can always hit pause on one therapist to go and try another to see if they’re a better fit for you.
How to Tell Your Therapist They’re Not a Good Fit
It’s never easy to end a relationship, even when it’s a professional one. Just like breaking up, the best approach is to be open and honest about what you’re thinking. Perhaps it will be something your therapist will be able to change or modify to suit your needs. Perhaps they’re simply not equipped to help with your particular problem. That’s perfectly okay and it’s quite normal.
The process of finding a therapist can be stressful. You’re trying to find someone local, who takes your insurance, who has the right experience and expertise, who has availability to help you. That’s a lot of criteria to meet – of course, that’s why we list these items first and foremost. Once you do find someone who checks all your boxes, however, there is no obligation to keep seeing them.
There are two ways to approach this situation. You can go back to the drawing board and begin your search from scratch, or you can ask your therapist if they can recommend someone else you can try. Good therapists will understand that you need to put yourself first during this process. All you need to say is that you don’t think it’s a good fit and you’d like to start looking elsewhere.
How to Find a Therapist
There are lots of different ways you can find a therapist. You can ask your doctor, ask your family and friends, ask Google, for starters. You can also access therapy databases, such as Ravel Mental Health, which will show all the available therapists in your area and allow you to filter by criteria such as qualifications, experience, language spoken, religious affiliation, and more.
Counselling Connection is currently in beta testing and will roll out across the United States later this year. It’s going to become America’s new go-to online booking platform for mental health services, because it shows you profiles of all the suitable people in your area and lets you check their availability so you can schedule an appointment on the spot. The future is here, and it’s never been easier to access professional mental health support and start your journey to well-being.
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